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I regret a lot of decisions ive made. But I thought they were to the best of my interests. Its too late i cant go back in time to change them anyways. I'm still a failure to everyone. What if i went away or died i know ppl would miss me for a bit. But they would eventually forget n not have to worry about me anymore. the ppl i care about would be devastated but it would be like letting a person with terminal cancer go. I wont be a burden to them n they wont be a burden to me anymore. Maybe im just tired of the torture of tryng to fall asleep upset at myself for not being good enough. Seeing everyone else have fun being successful and me not being able to do the same yet. I guess since i'm far from home everything just hits a lot harder. I cant run to the safety of friends or family for comfort. i missbeing able to pop open some cookies with poofy n jus talk aout life. I miss just bumming with keeks and watching movies or talking about shows. I think those werethethingsthat kept me sane n content. Nnow im lacking that feeling. I dunno what to do anymore becuz the one thing i thot was good for me is turning out to hurt me. sigh...I just want to disappear so much for me being optimistic. I think its gonna take a lot of surfsup n horton hears a who the next couple days for me to get some sleep.
And of course im blubbering by now like every other nite n im leakingfrom all facial orfaces. Have you ever wondered what in snot gives it that gooey consistancy. Like almost water runny but enough viscosity to keep it bound. I wonder what minarals are secreted in it n how its clear when u cry but yellow when ur sick. anyways on a happy note i think i want toget a bunny so i have something joyful to think about everyday!
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| I need to earn 200 bucks by March 14th. So does anyone have any suggestions on how i can do that (non-shadily)?? cuz I mean well i got half of it already but its good to have a lil more. The plan is to road trip with the poofster to Miami n relax at the beach weee!! so u kno gas and food will add up to 200 from fri-tues so my budget is 200 bucks. SO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME EARN MONEY. cuz i tried looking for a job, but i dont kno anywhere that is hiring. So if anyone has ideas i'm definitely up for listenin! I can do even hard physical labor like mow your lawn or clean your apartment or even do your hw. I am willing to work for my money. But I also do kindly accept donations :) So if anyone knows of anyone or anything that will help me raise money please tell me!!! If u help me i mite even share my earning with u!
yea so im kinda 2 months behind on the writing in the xanga. But yea
lets just say i've been busy or i've been too lazy to write in the
xanga. But yea not much has happened. You kno skoo n looking for a job
biz hehe. I thot i would see ppl more since i'm back this semester but
apparently i see more of ppl i didnt expect to see. Like I see all my
highschool friends a whole lot more then i ever did the past 2 years. I
still dont go out as much any more. It's usually an every other weekend
type thing, so like one weekend i'll go out (aka party or go see the
bf) and then the next ill stay home. Except for this past weekend when
it was Leap Day and i missed like the most eventful weekend ever cuz my
dad took the car n forgot i needed it :( i hate sharing a car. Thus i
need a job so i can get my own car and pay for my own college and stop
having to depend on my parents. All u lucky freaks who's parents just
give u a car, u are lucky. Sorry for all the peeps i ditched out on retreat, leap day party, banquet, and moya :( I shall party with yall next time.
So memorable things that have happened in the past 2 months. Meeh
nothing out of the ordinary. Just having a hell week of tests, and then
partying it up with ppls. And of course going to see my fluffy butt and
when he comes to visit :) I think that's what i look forward to the
most. You know u got it bad when everyday u anticipate the day u get to
spend time with ur favorite person. Sometimes i wish i could drive 3
hrs everyday to see him instead of go home. But too bad gas costs so
much. I kinda wish every weekend i could go to Hilton Head and just ride
around the beach all day on a bike. I mean think about it, it would be
really good exercise mehehe. I'm looking forward to this weekend tho cuz he is coming to the
ATL on saturday i can't wait! If only the days of the week would go by
faster. And then the weekend after spring break it will be vacation
time with my fb in Huntsville!! So all u Alabama ppls shud go back to Alabamians the weekend of the 29th and we can have a little reunion/party time in the boonies of Alabama.
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| Man its been so long since I've updated this. Well here goes New Years Resolution numba 1:
1. Update Xanga once a week or at least every month
So 2007 has been an interesting year. Filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly. But you know hopefully 2008 will be a better one  I kinda have been MIA from the world and then some. I guess I've been spending a lot of time in the ATL with the boyfriend, but you know a lot of stuff has been happening the last couple of months and I just felt better being with him then being at home. Working for a semester and making money was pretty nice and having a car. But I'm totally ready to go back to school plus the fact that I will have a car, only downside is that I'll be living at home  meeh which means its gonna be a stressful semester, but i think it'll be aite. But to sum up 2007 here is the list.
The Good:
- Awesome road trips
- UT Austin and partyin with the amazing UT grls
- ECAASU at YALE man i met so many new folks and got to have fun wit bros n sisters
- Clubbing with the girls, clubbing with friends, jus clubbing in general with friends
- Spring Break and chillin with Rolo
- Of course fun times with ASR sisters and XK bros ultimate mixer, banquet, n chillin.
- Random parties at Gene's place, random cookie parties in Woodies
- Nomadin' in Keek's n Pei ling's room
- Watchin movies and the Office with the BF
- Summer trips to Huntsville and fun times when BF came to visit!! (aquarium, bowling, D&B, movies, fishing, drive in movies, and ducks!)
- Six Flags trips
- Tubing
- Chillin at the Hamptons playing beer pong, guitar hero, halo 3, and watching movies
- Watching football (woot woot go PATS 16-0)
- Being a sports fanatic I guess that happenswhen spending so much time around guys (hockey, bball, football)
- Everyone's 21st bday and then some too bad its not mine yet
- And the best part Fluffing with the biggest fluffy butt
The Bad:
- meeh bad grades spring semester
- lazyness summer semester
- going MIA
- just feeling down half the time because of long amounts of time at home
- family probs that make me depressed
- no keeks nor BF in the summer
- my mom leaving me for Laos for a month
- one of my favorite uncles dying
The Ugly:
- Having no car when I need one
- gas prices being high
- Being MIA cuz yea its bad and ugly i know
- not spending enough time on ASR stuff
- fluffing around too much
I guess that sums it up. Or at least what I remember of my year. I try to forget a lot of things which might have caused me to forget some fun times but you know it was all good. But I guess to continue on my resolutions.
2. Have 3 healthy balanced meals a day. Cut back on the fast food.
3. Workout more (for cardio and toneness, not to lose weight)
4. Study more and bum less
5. Try to keep in touch with friends better
6. Put more effort into ASR stuff
7. Find a good job and save money
8. Figure out a way to introduce the BF to the parents
9. Do the following, skiing/snowboarding, go to a braves, thrashers, hawks, and falcons game if its not too expensive, white water rafting, tubing, caving/spelunking, camping, and a road trip somewhere, o yea and swim at the beach!!
10. Be more productive at home
well i guess thats all for now. Maybe i'll add more to the list later.
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| SO its officially the most boring summer.....n it jus got worse. So it all started with bein bored as shiz at home.....i hate living at home. May i repeat, i hate living at home. U think u got it bad, well u thot wrong! Cuz i got it 10 times worse then u,u freakanature! Summer skoo sux, cuz no one is here, everyone is gone or hella busy (i really need to find a job), so i bum all day bored as a mofo. But there were sum highlights like when Yonglin came to visit, was the most fun ive had in like forever, literally FOREVA, it like was 5 days of happiness n summer vacation for reals! But then he left and that same day at Amber's house i fractured my pinky cuz James threw the football really hard n i caught it the wrong way :( n i got bitched out that nite by my parents for coming home late), o but idid have fun at the bbq besides the whole pinky thing, that was sum gud azzz BBQ man!.
And then that weekend, the freakin subdivision pool finally opened and i couldnt go freakin swimin cuz of da stupid fractured pinky. And then it took 2 hrs jus for the doc to give me a new splint for the pinky, i mean how hard is it to stick a metal cushion things to a finger?!?!? And to top it off my phone broke even more today, not to mention its my second phone that i got from Jessica. It has survived the toilets of gas station in TX, and the hotel sink at Yale, and numerous falls. But today it fell once n the outside screen cracked. N then not to mention it was already so ghetto-fied that i had to use a headphone piece to be able to talk on the phone, the earpiece broke today while i was takin it out of my pocket! So now im miserable n phoneless :( freakin verizon gotta be all complicated n have special phones. UGH n frustrated!
Like man i jus wanna chill n escape the world. Everything be stressin for no reason. Today i sat at B n N for a couple hrs tryin to find Waldo n his friends in the "Where's Waldo?" book. It was the most bliss ive had for the past 2 weeks. Sippin on my Starbucks FRap n lookin for that Freak-o-nature Waldo n his buddies, Wenda,Odlaw,Wizard Whitebeard, and Woof. Man i really do luv that book. I didnt realize how much fun it was until now. Tooo bad there is only 1 'Wheres Waldo?' book at the Tech BnN. I need to find more cuz sadly i found all the Waldos  . I also started re-reading Mythology by Edith Hamilton, cuz they ran out of Harry Potter 5 n 6. I havent felt that like calm n tranquil in a while, its like they drug the air wit that coffee smell that makes u all relaxed. Man sumtimes i wish i could jus blend away into the background like Waldo n never be found, or at least for a while. Then folks would stop buggin man!
Well at least i have the end of the week to look forward to. I get to see the only person how makes me o so happy no matter how down im feeling on Fri, u kno i never knew i could miss sumone so much that being away from them for more then one week SUX BUTT n causes me to lose sleep......I CANT WAIT TILL FRI YAY!!! and then i get to hang out wit da grls who i havent seen or hung out wit in foeva!
Aite i guess thats my rant for the nite woot woot! imma go watch sum youtube then fall asleep n wake up for my 9am class nite nite xanga world!
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| DOES ANYONE WANNA EAT AT WOODIES OR BRITTAIN THIS WEEK?!?!?!
i have so many meals left on my buzzcard n i need to use them up, so if n e one wants to grab a meal or jus sum coffee or hot chocolate i can swipe u and like 10 other friends in...heheheh i have like 27 meals to use up by the end of this week. SO if ur up for me treating u with sum tech food holla at me!
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